FOS0038

Written evidence submitted by Allison Tatton

I am currently a part time PhD student at Bristol University and my supervisors are Professors Julie Selwyn and Elaine Farmer.   I also work full time as a Senior Lecturer and Head of Subject at Newman University, Birmingham. 

1. This fostering inquiry considers the views of a range of stakeholders within the sector but while there is specific mention of the support given to foster carers, it is my view that there are another group of stakeholders who are not explicitly mentioned.  This group arguably have closest contact with looked after children and can experience a significant impact as a result of their family fostering.  This group are the sons and daughters of the foster carers.  For the remainder of this evidence the sons and daughters of foster carers will either be referred to as sons/daughters or, if directly relating to my research, the term participant(s) will be used.  My thesis considers the views of birth children of foster carers.

2. The sons/daughters of foster carers are currently virtually invisible in policy and practice.  They are mentioned in their own right only once in the Fostering Services: national minimum standards (Dfe 2012) and then only as an addendum to support their parents might require.  Section 21.6 states,

All foster carers have access to adequate social work and other professional support, information and advice, to enable them to provide consistent, high quality care to the child. This includes assistance with dealing with relevant services, such as health and education. Consideration is given to any help or support needed by the sons and daughters of foster carers. DfE (2012:42)

3. Additionally, a recent text authored by McFadden and McNitt (2012) entitled ‘Voices for the forgotten: Thirty years of the international foster care organisation’ did not mention sons/daughters, reinforcing the view that this group of stakeholders are largely invisible.

4. The Fostering Network produced a policy paper ‘Fostering families: supporting the sons and daughters of foster carers’ (The Fostering Network 2008) which considered some of the issues sons/daughters face.  There have also been recommendations that support should be provided for sons/daughters nationwide, but an evaluation of this demonstrated that support was patchy and there has been no recent evaluation of the levels of support provided by local authorities or private fostering agencies.   

Background

5. Recently there has been a significant increase in research undertaken with children who are looked after but there is still a paucity of research relating to the foster families who care for them (Sutton and Stack 2012).  Even less research has been undertaken with the birth children of foster carers.  The first studies emerging in the late 1960’s but there has often been more than a decade between studies (Twigg and Swann 2007). 

6. Existing research indicates that the birth children of foster carers can experience benefits when being brought up in a family who foster. They often develop a greater sense of social justice and social responsibility, greater degrees of empathy (Twigg and Swann 2007) and can mature earlier than other children (Pugh 1996, Swann 2000, Nuske 2004), (though whether this is a benefit is unclear).  They also report that they enjoy having other children to play with, looking after babies and toddlers and helping other children.  Some reports also indicate there are increased family outings (Sutton and Stack 2012) although other studies report the number of family outings were curtailed (Younes and Harp 2007).  In the longer term there is some evidence which suggests that being brought up in a family that fosters can influence career choices with many young people choosing to go into caring professions (Twigg and Swann 2007, The Fostering Network 2008:4)

7. However, birth children also report a number of challenges: issues around a lack of time and attention available to them from their parents (Part 1993); the sharing of, damage to and/or theft of personal possessions; loss of personal space and privacy (Clare et. al. 2006); the behaviours of some foster children and differing rules for fostered children and themselves (Clare et. al. 2006); issues around school, school friends and peer relationships (Ellis 1972); concerns for their parents’ emotional well-being as parents are stressed by the behaviour of foster children and/or social workers (Watson and Jones, 2002, Spears and Cross 2003).  They also report issues around being bullied by foster children as well as loss, grief and sometimes guilt when foster children move on.   In addition to this birth children can be the first to hear about safeguarding issues but can be sworn to secrecy by the foster child presenting a moral dilemma for the birth child (Martin 1993).  They can be expected by their parents, to act as role models for foster children (Swann 2000), and many take on caring responsibilities by way of baby sitting or attending to the care needs of younger or disabled children (Ames 1997).  They also have to practise ‘safe caring’ when foster children are present which might mean altering family routines around bathing, dressing, nudity or semi-nudity (Farmer and Pollock 1998) and displays of affection (Nutt 2006). 

8. Many sons/daughters report they are reluctant to discuss these issues with their parents for fear of causing them additional stress or that when they do try to discuss issues with their parents their views are not taken seriously.  Some children report they feel resentful of their foster siblings but unable to voice their concerns as their concerns are outweighed by the benefits to the foster child or seem trite in comparison to the experience of foster children (Trout 2008, Nuske 2010).

My Research - Growing up as a birth child of a foster carer:  Adult birth children’s perspectives.

9. Using in-depth narrative interviews my own research has asked twelve grown up sons/daughters of foster carers about their experiences of growing up in a fostering family.  This included their recollections of their experiences as a child and how they reflect on the experience looking back now.    Some of the parents had been fostering before the participants were born, therefore, they had not experienced any other way of family life.  Others witnessed significant changes once their family decided to foster.  Some of the participants’ families are still fostering and others ceased fostering years ago.    Their stories about growing up in a fostering family were varied but there were some key issues that have come out of the interviews.

Initial findings             

10. Many of the sons/daughters that were interviewed said that in the long term they felt there were some benefits from their families fostering, although this was not in every case.  Initial findings from my research indicate that sons/daughters:

Silenced by their parents and social workers but also by the rhetoric around fostering.

11. Several sons/daughters indicated that they had made their parents aware of challenges they were experiencing relating to fostering but nothing was done.  One participant had not got on with her foster sibling from the first time they met.  This also affected her relationship with her older sibling, her parents and school friends.  This went on throughout much of her childhood and early adolescence.  It was not until the foster sibling was around the age of 16 and there was a danger of sexual violence that the young person was removed from the home.  Meanwhile the birth child had spent much of her time afraid to be at home on her own or alone with her foster sibling.

12. Another participant was angry about her foster siblings being taken on outings by social workers as she and her other sibling were excluded from ‘treats’ by social workers yet her foster siblings were included in ‘treats’ provided by her family.  Her parents said they would talk to the social workers but then backed out of this as they claimed there was no point speaking to social workers as nothing would be done.

13. Another participant feels that her parents ridiculed her as a child when she made any objection to fostering and that they continue to do so now that she is an adult.  This particular participant was sexually abused by one of the children her family looked after but has never told her parents about this even as an adult possibly for fear that her parents will ridicule her again or not believe her but also because she says she would feel guilty for causing her parents pain.  She is also convinced that her older sibling was sexually abused but he too has never spoken out about this.

14. Sons/daughters appreciate that their parents being foster carers is seen as positive by society.  When talking about sons/daughters Trout (2009) asks ‘with a cause so noble, how can one speak out?’  He goes on to argue how can the sons/daughters speak about matters of unfairness when they are aware that the outcomes for foster children are good and there is an underlying drive in their family to do good.  My findings support the view that even if sons/daughters do have issues they are reluctant to voice these.

Foster children as siblings

15. Most sons/daughters said that they viewed foster children as siblings.  This was the case regardless of how long the family the family has been fostering, how long the placement lasted, what type of fostering the family undertook, the age at which the fostered children came into the foster family or the age of the sons/daughters when the family were fostering.  What was also clear was that the sons/daughters often continued to understand the relationship between themselves and the foster children as siblings into adulthood and in the present, even if they were no longer in contact with their former foster siblings. 

16. This view of foster children may also have been promoted, at least in part, by their parents and how they described fostering to them.  One participant stated,

The way it was put to me was that it was made out to be like us almost getting a new brother or sister kind of thing.

17. The idea of the foster child being, ‘Just another member of the family’ and by virtue of that a ‘sibling’ was also enhanced by foster carers attempts to treat the foster child the same as any other children within the household which is in accordance with Fostering Services: national minimum standards (Dfe 2012)

18. However, while the children saw foster children as siblings, there were a number of structural challenges to this relationship which were particularly evident as the children got older and became more aware.  These include sons/daughters perceiving that their foster siblings received preferential treatment to that which they received in terms of the financial allowance received, levels of discipline and sanctions, outings etc.   Sons/daughters also raise the issue that although they were ‘siblings’ and there could be sibling rivalry in terms of physical aggression towards them by their foster sibling they were not able to retaliate as they were not allowed be physically aggressive towards the foster child and if they did they were aware they or their parents could get into serious trouble and an allegation may be made against them.

Exposed to risk of serious physical and mental harm

19. Sons/daughters often reported being bullied by their foster siblings and/or ‘beaten up’.  While it seemed that on some occasions this resulted in placements ending this was often not the case and incidents went unreported.  Of the twelve participants who took part in the study three said they had at some point been threatened with a knife and one had a knife put to her throat.

20. Sons/daughters were sometimes unclear about whether these incidents had been reported to social services but many felt they had not been.  It was felt this may be because had these incidents been reported it might have looked as if the foster carer was not coping well with the child/young person’s behaviour.

21. One of the participants (mentioned above) attributes her mental ill-health to being abused as a child and being unable to tell her parents.  Another participant said that her younger birth sibling had become an elective mute for approximately twelve months after the removal of one of their foster siblings.  Most participants at some point cried during the interview often when recalling experiences their foster siblings had gone through.  Some were still preoccupied with thoughts about these experiences.

Often learn about ‘adult’ topics such as sex, sexual abuse, drugs and alcohol very early in their childhood from children their families foster. 

22. Many sons/daughters learned about sexual relationships from foster children.  A number of the foster families had also fostered children who had been sexually abused and therefore they learnt of the abuse the children had suffered as the foster children confided in them.  In one family the sons/daughters also learnt about bestiality from foster children’s confidences.  However, they were sworn to secrecy by their foster siblings and were therefore unable to talk to their parents about this.  This caused them significant anguish as children and has continued to do so into adulthood.

23. They also learnt about and sometimes witnessed the effect of drugs and alcohol misuse as parents of the foster children came to their home either drunk or ‘high’ on drugs.  Another family fostered babies who were born addicted and experienced the baby’s withdrawal from substances.  This appeared to have left him traumatised by this.

24. Many children also witnessed physical injuries their foster siblings had experienced prior to coming into care.  One participant talked of the horrific injuries to one of the children her family fostered where his step mother had burnt him with cigarettes sometimes in his mouth.

Worry about allegations of abuse towards themselves or their parents and are angry because family routines have to be changed to take account of safe caring.

25. All of the sons/daughters whose parents were still fostering indicated they were constantly concerned about an allegation of abuse being made against their parents or them.  One participant’s father had experienced this and she talked about the anxiety this caused during the investigation.  She also told how this particular child/young person had also threated her husband that he would make an allegation of abuse against him. 

26. Another participant told of how angry she was because the family routine had had to be changed and to protect against an allegation of abuse.  Her father had been told by social workers that he could not bath the foster children and therefore his affected the bedtime/bath time routine for his own children too as positive family times being curtailed.

Can experience changed relationships with their parents and birth siblings as a result of the family fostering.

27. A number of the participants experienced changes in the relationship with their birth siblings which they attributed to fostering.   Occasionally this would be because they didn’t get on with the foster sibling but their sibling did or vice versa.  Other times sons/daughter particularly if they were older appeared to ‘remove’ themselves from the family.  It may have been that this would have happened to a certain degree anyway but it was attributed to fostering.

28. Other relationships within the family and friends network changed too.  Birth children often reported that their parents appeared distracted and did not have as much time for them.  Others reported things like relationships with family friends changed because of the new family dynamic and they regretted these changes.

Experience feelings of guilt if they do not get on with foster children.

29. Sons/daughters also reported their own feelings of guilt when they did not get on with foster siblings as they knew their foster siblings had experienced trauma and neglect in the past.  This was not only in childhood and adolescence but in the present.

Spend much of their adult lives wondering what happened to their foster siblings and in some cases attempting to re-establish contact with them.

30. As with other research sons/daughters said that one of the most challenging things they experiences was their foster siblings moving on.  This appeared especially difficult when the foster sibling did not want to move either.   Almost all of the sons/daughters told of situations where the family had wanted their foster siblings to remain but social services had felt it best to move them.  Many participants talked about how they had been distressed when their foster siblings moved on.  One participant stated,

              Oh God!  I cried and cried for god knows how long…

31. What was also evident that there were no rituals for the ending of the relationship between sons/daughters and their foster siblings nor was there any acknowledgement of their grief or loss.   This often included their parents who were often distressed themselves, social workers, teachers, schools, wider family members, friends etc.

32. Some sons/daughters have managed to re-established contact with their foster siblings as adults.  Almost all of the sons/daughters said they had tried to either find out information about their past foster siblings or had tried to find them to make contact.  One participant when asked whether she ever thought about her foster siblings simply stated,

all the time.

Conclusion

33. Recent research by Julie Selwyn and Colleagues talks about compassion fatigue (CF), and Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS) and vicarious trauma (VT) in foster carers.  I would argue that there is evidence to suggest that some sons/daughters also suffer from similar conditions.  They may have seen or heard about physical and/or sexual abuse at a very young age but been sworn to secrecy by their foster siblings.  They could also have witnessed people abusing drugs and alcohol, lost the attention of their parents, lost friendships and relationships with older siblings and/or wider family members, in addition to experiencing the multiple loss of their foster siblings, all with little support.

34. We also need to remember that while in recent years there has been a move to professionalise foster carers we cannot ‘professionalise’ the sons/daughters who are often closest to the foster children.

35. We also need to think carefully how we research with sons/daughters as we need to ensure they are not telling us what they think we want to hear.

November 2016