Written evidence from Anonymous (ACU0115)
1.1 I am making this submission as a mother whose child was adopted in 1968; not forced by the government as such, yet still, the choice was not mine.
2.1 It was Norwich, late 1966 and I was 15 when I became pregnant and 16 when my baby was born. My mother and grandmother were horrified when they eventually found out I was pregnant and totally against me keeping the baby. They were entirely worried about what people would think. I was supposed to go to a mother and baby home to spare my family the embarrassment (my predicament was seen as such a stigma). Although they relented at the last minute, I was instead kept as a virtual prisoner during the pregnancy and only taken out after dark for exercise; a short walk on the beach. I was forbidden to ever again see or even speak to the father, who I loved dearly, with the threat that they would have him prosecuted as I was under age. The baby was to be adopted. That was my family’s decision.
2.2 In the summer of 1967, I had a dreadful and traumatic birth and afterwards, with involvement of the less than empathetic, Church Army, papers were signed and my baby was taken to a foster mother. There was never any discussion as to how it might be possible for me to keep the baby. I was 16. Six weeks later, with my mother, I took my baby to London on the train. I sat with her in my arms for the two hour journey, an opportunity I had fought for; this was the last thing I was going to be able to do for my daughter. We headed to the National Adoption Society where I handed her over and that was that. It was done with, I was expected not to mention it again; to get on with it. There was nowhere and no one to turn to for support. I was 16.
3.1 Early in the year 2000 I decided to find my daughter and put details on the Government register and one other. Meanwhile, I saw a woman on a TV show who found people, including adopted children. I contacted her via the program and amazingly she found my daughter in less than a week. This was April 2000.
3.2 I realised, however, that there was little I could do with this information. Under the adoption legislation of the time, the adoption was deemed full and final, that there would be no contact. What if my daughter didn't know she had been adopted? There was, after all, no requirement for her to have been told and I had no right to approach mediation services.
3.3 It was a few months later, October 2000, when a letter came from the national register. My daughter had added her details to the register; she knew! As I already had her address, I immediately wrote her a letter and we exchanged correspondence and then phone calls until we eventually met on my 50th Birthday in 2001; she was by then 33. It was as if we’d always known each other. I found out I was a grandmother; I had two grandchildren, then 10 and 8. I didn't know.
4.1 The government didn't "grab my child" but it was the social, cultural and economic policies of the time that made my predicament socially unacceptable and for this reason, I would like an apology. Just a few years later things changed, it was socially accepted. Benefits, housing and support was available and accessible for girls and women in my situation which allowed them to keep their babies. Yet, even with this shift in society, there has been no recognition of the impact of these adoption practices on the women and children subjected to them.
4.2 I missed 33 years of my daughter. She was on my mind my whole life to the detriment of my marriage and subsequent children. I had to wait until I divorced to attain my goal of finding my her, I lost one son but my other just accepts my daughter as his big sister.
4.3 Although we still bear the scars of the past, we continue to all be part of each other's lives and I even have a great granddaughter who will be a teenager later this year. I can't help but feel that I am one of the lucky ones.
10/01/2022