Written evidence submitted by Anonymous (INV0012)
[Note: This evidence has been redacted by the Committee. “***” represents redacted text. Text in square brackets has been inserted where text has been redacted.]
- I am now [over 60] years old
- I was married for [over 20] years to an abusive & violent partner. Whom nearly everyone, thought was a lovely man. Except that they did not see the real person, that I was living with. The one that would swear at, insult ,control, punch & kick me. The one who liked to grab me by the throat & pin me up against the wall ,or throw me around the room like a "ragdoll". The one who always stated ,that everything that was NOT right in the relationship, was ALL MY fault. Even though others may have their own opinions about me, I married, honouring my wedding vows.
- Accepting the bad with the good times ,as part of married life.
- Let it be clear that anal sex, was NOT something that I engaged in. It was my choice for not wanting to try out, or participate in. It was absolutely taboo for me .
- So hence, knowing this & in the final months of our marriage. Realising that it was coming to an end. My ex husband, decided that it was his right to take, what he had been denied all of those years. So he carried out the final act of derogation, to humiliate & sodomize me.
- This he did after being out all night & drinking. I was not a willing partner in this act at all!. Even though "being married" to him at the time. Seems to suggest or implies to others (police/CPS etc) that I was?!! This all happened back, in [year]. No, I did not report it at the time. As he was still living in the house & I knew how violent he could be. It was not until the police "finally witnessed" for themselves (a 999 callout) That they saw & heard him, threatening to kill me. That is when they arrested him. Up until then, the abuse & violence, was regarded as "a domestic".(NB; even though he was charged with ABH & that I made out a statement at the police station) When it came to court ,this was lowered to a common assault. Resulting in just a £100 fine. But as of today, there was no such crime? It seems to have been wiped away, not listed now on any records ?
- [Three years later,] after relocating to [Location A] & trying to build a new life for myself. Rather naively, thinking that I was finally away from his reach, I thought that I was strong enough to speak up about the rape & abuse that I had suffered. I called the [location A] police to make some enquiries. Whether it was too late to address, the now "historical rape" & to ask for some advice, as a survivor? I was informed that [location A] police did indeed, take rape as a serious offence. I was told that even though it was a historical rape & that it did not happen in their county. I could still report it & that they would investigate. This gave me the courage & the belief , that I may finally be helped & possibly now have some redress. The lady officer came to my home & we talked for quite some time. Discussing my marriage (how long that I had been married) Outlining some of the physical & verbal abuse that I had endured Also of the rape itself & what led up to it & what had occurred afterwards. And yes, it was very painful reliving the experience. The heartache & distress of being violated in such a way. Also, remembering the gratification on his face the next day & the vile comments that he said. Glorifying how he had finally taken something from me ,that he had no right to. But this was still an "outline" ,not an in depth interview. The officer did not ask me to make out a written statement at this time. Neither did she state at any point ,when I would have to & to go over in more detail. I thought that she was listening to me? But at the end of our discussion, she just stated that "from what I had told her, that it was very unlikely to come to anything"? I was a mix of emotions, deflated & let down once again, embarrassed, not believed. Upset recalling the event & of the abuse suffered both mentally & physically. What a waste of time & more heartache!. If I had not been given "false hope" by the police ,on the initial telephone call to them. That being "married" & "raped" by your husband, does NOT make a "difference" of the actual crime. But it seems as though it does. I would not have agreed to the interview, if I had known the truth. Once again, I the victim/spouse, was left feeling more desolate & not being believed.
- About two weeks after this interview. I received a call from the [location B] police ,to say that they would investigate & interview my ex husband. So then I thought, that maybe there was enough for the police to go on & felt reassured that the matter was now being taken seriously? Then around the third week , I had a call to say that there would be no action or arrest? Around eight weeks later, I had another call to say that there were problems trying to track my ex husband? So I liaised with them a couple of times to assist. I gave them details of his last known mobile telephone number & his solicitor details (as we had divorced in [year]). By [month] the following year [(the year after I had reported the incident)] I was called by the police to be informed that no further action will be taken. As the CPS had advised, that there was "an unrealistic prospect" of a conviction? So after being on an "emotional rollercoaster ride" for around five months, was it worth it? No, not in the least. Why?
- Last year 2020, I obtained SAR reports, from both police forces, [location A and location B]. This was because of an unrelated case.
- But to my horror, I discovered that [location A] police, have no records, or knowledge, of my historical rape report? When queried with them & the data information officer. They deny that any of their officers ever attended my home or carried out an interview with me? Yet recorded on the SAR report from [location B police] ,it clearly states that the "paperwork" originated from [location A police]. And despite my enquiries with both ,there is no paperwork forthcoming from [location A police]. Even though this is recorded with [location B police], They are unable to divulge any details to me , due to "data protection". But all they can say & confirm is, that it came from [location A] police. I have made enquiries with the CPS & they to confirm that they were never approached regarding this case. They have stated that if there is no URN number on any of the paperwork. Then it means that they were never approached for advice or whether to prosecute. They have checked their systems thoroughly. Now come the real questions, So what if any or how much detail DID [location A] police pass over to [location B police]? To enable them to do their investigations thoroughly? Given by what I have seen & read, relating to some other matters on my SAR report from them. I am left yet again, feeling rather let down & distraught. By what has happened of late & of the previous episode! As I have uncovered a mass of lies & deceit. With some officers within this force & on their paperwork!!. Yet despite going through all of the relevant channels & various departments. There is seemingly no one, who will/can, hold them accountable for their gross misconduct. It was & has been very traumatic, being a victim of rape & violent abuse. But with seemingly an indifference by people, that are supposed to be there to uphold the law. The harsh reality is that one feels abused all over again. Just with another "abuser" added. Many of the agencies, would benefit from listening to more survivors & to show more compassion.