Written evidence from Ms Penelope Young, the Worcestershire Grandparents' Support Group (CFA0074)
HOUSE OF LORDS CHILDREN AND FAMILIES ACT 2014 SELECT COMMITTEE INQURY
CHILDREN AND FAMILIES ACT 2014 - CALL FOR EVIDENCE – REPLY
Question 2
I would like to take this opportunity of drawing attention to the ongoing issue of contact between grandchildren and grandparents, which it seems to me that the Children and Families Act 2014 does not address. This was discussed in a Westminster Hall debate of May 2018 brought by Nigel Huddleston MP at which I was present, along with other grandparents. The link to the Hansard report of this debate is here: -
Since March 2017 I have run the Worcestershire Grandparents' Support Group, supporting grandparents who are denied contact with their grandchildren. Although this is an independent group, we have close links with other similar organisations throughout the UK such as the Bristol Grandparents Support Group, and the Hendon Support Group. Unfortunately we no longer have a national organisation to represent us, the Grandparents' Association having several years ago been taken over by Grandparents Plus, now known as Kinship, an organisation supporting grandparents who are actually having to bring up their grandchildren.
It is not widely known that grandparents have no standing in law, and if contact with their grandchildren is denied and mediation is refused, the only way forward is to seek a Child Arrangement Order through the courts. No Legal Aid, is available, so grandparents choosing to go down this route have either to represent themselves, perhaps with the help of a McKenzie Friend, or to pay for their own legal representation, which can run into many thousands of pounds if they can afford it at all. If time is needed to raise the money, the delay can go against the grandparents in court.
As I am in this unfortunate position myself, I have experience of the court system, and nothing can prepare you for it. If allegations of abuse are made, however false or without evidence, this triggers an interview and a report by CAFCASS. The CAFCASS officer will not look at the grandparent's evidence, and may write a report hostile to the grandparent. I can only describe this as a “stitch-up”.
In the five years that I have run the support group, I have heard some truly heartbreaking stories. I have seen good decent grandparents deeply traumatised by the character assassination they have received in court, and the allegations made against them, all completely without evidence, yet these allegations create self-doubt, leave lasting wounds, and deepen family rifts. Is it humane or wise to subject older people, often in declining health, to all the stress and mud-slinging of the adversarial legal system? I have asked myself and others many times, how can this possibly be justice? Even if the grandparent is successful in court, it is well-known that Court Orders are not enforced. We cannot win.
Admittedly not all grandparents are saints, but then neither are their adult children. Most grandparents in this position are embarrassed to admit to others what has happened, thinking that they are the only ones, and fearing the response “You must have done something wrong”. Why should the grandparents always be to blame? All kinds of problems may be involved, such as family jealousies or mental health issues. While I am not a lawyer, and appreciate the difficulty of finding a “one size fits all” solution to this complex problem I would suggest that a start could be made by reinstating Legal Aid to grandparents, and removing the preliminary stage of seeking Leave of the Court, which I understand was originally intended to weed out vexatious applications. Both of these measures if implemented would reduce delays.
If a parent dies, then the surviving parent (the father in all three cases I have had contact with) may remove the children and take them possibly to another country, and the grandparents may never see them again. I know of one case in which the father's new wife is in the process of adopting the two grandchildren, with devastating effects on the maternal grandmother, who has no say in the matter whatsoever, and unknown effects upon the children. While it's impossible to link cause and effect, in one of the three cases I am aware of, one of the two grandparents became ill and died within a relatively short time. What conclusions should be drawn?
These disputes can be extremely vicious. It's quite common for grandparents to be threatened with police cautions for harassment, simply for sending presents or cards to their beloved grandchildren. Neither is the problem always with in-laws or an adult child's partner – sometimes an adult child cuts off his or her parents. Additionally, grandparents may be – and in my experience have been - subjected to unreasonable demands for money, property, childcare etc on pain of contact with their grandchildren being withdrawn. What safeguards are in place to protect vulnerable grandparents from this kind of extortion and exploitation?
What protection is in place for grandchildren who have bonded with their grandparents? I know one little boy who developed behavioural problems after his mother denied him contact with his grandmother, who had been present in his life several times a week since he was born. When the grandchildren are given no explanation, what are they to conclude? Might they think that they have done something wrong, and that Nanna and Grandad don't love them any more?
We are only scratching the surface of a huge and widespread problem within society, which, it has been estimated, affects 1.4 million grandparents and 2 million children in the UK. Grandparents approach me looking for answers, and while I can reassure them that they are very far from alone in this situation, I feel a deep sense of frustration that I cannot offer them more. However we have recently acquired a powerful ally – the campaigner and author Jasvinder Sanghera CBE, who in 2015 was instrumental in bringing about a law against forced marriage in the UK, and whose current petition on Change.org calling for a change in the Children Act, has gained more than 35,000 signatures.
On a personal note, I was fortunate enough to grow up with both my grandmothers, and one of my grandfathers. Grandparents can provide a “buffer zone” and additional stability and security, both material and emotional, for children struggling with dysfunctional family relationships. They can give children a listening ear, as well as a sense of identity and family history.
As we have seen with the Megan and Harry saga, this problem cuts across all strata of society, and time is not on our side. Depending on the age gap, many grandparents are unlikely to be around when their grandchildren reach adulthood.
To conclude, I believe this is a huge hidden problem and an enormous injustice, which needs to be addressed in the best interests of our children and that of UK society as a whole.
April 2022